Making friends - aka Slobber Happens

Someone, somewhere once wrote, "The loneliest women you will find are stay-at-home-moms."  For the most part, I would whole-heartedly disagree with this statement. But, as we all know there are exceptions. For some reason, the past few months have been difficult for me (read lonely); it could be our move to a place where we know no one; it could be the fact that I am shy and reluctant to go up to people I don't know and strike up a conversation; it could be the inner seventh grader stuck in my mind telling me I am a big dork. So, here is my tale of how I am making friends in a new city...

We live in an apartment - our complex does not have a playground, but we do have two pools. We moved here at the end of February, when it was still chilly and most people hung out indoors. I tried to join a MOPS group, but was informed that they were "full" and I should try again in August. Ouch.  I met one other mom living near us, but she would never talk to me. I made it a point to say,"Hi" "How are you?" "Have a good day" etc. whenever I saw her, I would be lucky to get a wave or "Hi" in return.  It wasn't until I told her about a break-in in a nearby unit that she actually spoke to me and told me her name.

I have tried making friends at the park. That is like going back to junior high dressed in the wrong thing - literally. Since moving here, I have had five, yes, five actual conversations with moms at the park.  When I attempt to talk to other moms, I have been given a "look over", then either an eyebrow raise or an eye roll, a perfunctory "Hi" and then I am usually ignored.  No, I do not carry a Coach diaper bag, wear Tory Burch flats, or J Brand jeans to the park (FYI - this is the North Dallas standard uniform - at the park). The moms who have talked to me are older, dressed to play, and seem glad be out and about with their kiddos too.

What has been my sanity saver? The Dog Park. We go to the Dog Park daily, usually in the morning.  Sloane loves to play and run, Nozzo smells and runs, I actually get to meet people!  On my second trip, I realized that the dog owners at the dog parks are like my friends -laid back and ready to play. When you go to the dog park, you can expect to get dirty - thus no one cares that you are in gym clothes or if your clothes are "grubbies". No one notices if you are wearing make-up or not. In a lot of ways, it is like hanging out with a group of moms with newborns. Slobber happens. At the park, we have made some wonderful friends - both two and four legged.

Because we go at about the same time each day, we get to see some of the same people and their dogs. Sloane asks to go to the Dog Park over the kids park. She is off-the-charts excited when we drive in the parking lot. When we get there, if some of the regulars are there, she takes off running to open the gates to go play. Yes, she knows that Nozzo says"hi" to the other dogs first and that she needs to let new dogs smell her hands before she can pet them.

I love going  for many reasons, but mainly, there is a huge sense of community - and not just because we are all "dog people." If I am there with a group of women and a strange man comes in, we all stay (or leave) together. We share job search info (glad to know I am not the only out-of- work person), restaurants to try (or avoid), fill each other in about new parks and if they are worth our time. And yes, we gossip about each other.   Sloane loves playing , sharing her snacks, and getting kisses  from all the "puppies." The other dog parents know when Sloane is reaching her "breaking point" and when she needs a time out. They are also helpful in making sure she stays in time-out when we are there.

We have met people who have rescued their dogs , pure-breds, grand-dogs, crazy mixed breeds, and even one of Michael Vick's dogs (sweetheart!!!).  If we get there and no one is there - I admit I do get a little bummed, but we wait about 15 minutes and someone else shows up.  It is not uncommon for me to look down at my watch and realize we have been there for two hours. 

Now that summer (and pool weather) is upon us, we are slowly starting to meet other moms who live nearby.  I am in a Bible Study at Church and am meeting other women with similar interests. I hope that soon, Sloane will be able to have some play-dates with neighbors/church friends. In the mean time, we love our Dog Park buddies (both human and canine).