Happy birthday!

Pregnant and 40...WHAT?

I turned 40 today. I am not at all embarrassed or ashamed to admit that. I have earned every wrinkle, gray hair, and freckle/sunspot on my face. I am blessed and very happy. With this momentous birthday, I thought back to my younger years (tweens/teens), when I would think, "What do I want to be doing when I am 40?" Happily married - check; children - check; great job - check; awesome friends (spread all over the country now) - check; but 27 weeks pregnant - NO WAY! To quote my motto, "People plan, God laughs!"

The funny thing about this pregnancy is all of the fun terms that go along with it. I feel like a Geritol commercial. How do you like "Geriatric Pregnancy" or "High Risk Pregnancy"? The former always gets me. I am not that old - am I? Geriatric - seriously?!? I understand the latter - there are some complications that come along with this baby, they could happen to any woman, of any age. I just won the lottery of a double label. Yay me!

Please keep in mind that being 40 and pregnant isn't really so bad. I can fight the urge to register for everything at Buy Buy Baby and Target; actually, I don't plan on registering at all. I know the dangers of eating "everything I want, I am going to enjoy this, blah blah blah." I am thrilled with my belly, but dress more conservatively than my younger counterparts (no skin tight shirts/pants/shorts). There are no "belly shots" of me floating around in cyber space. Our birth plan is simple - drugs please. Swollen ankles, they will go down. Weight gain, it will eventually come off, eventually. I also know that this baby girl is a huge blessing from God and I/we cannot wait to meet her!

Some of you know our history - we had Sloane, had two miscarriages, then decided to wait and see what would happen.  After two and a half years of waiting, our hearts were opened to the idea of local adoption. We spent the greater part of last summer taking classes to be certified/licensed parents (not an easy feat). We gave away the bulk of our baby stuff (clothes, toys, supplies, etc.) and prepared to welcome an older child or sibling group into our home.  The day after our practice home study visit (kind of like a practice interview before a big interview) I found out I was pregnant. I thought I was just stressed (you know, new job, new house, possible new kids). God was having a great big belly laugh.

Before we moved to DFW, I did some research on high risk OB/GYN offices and found one I really liked, they also take my insurance - woo hoo. I kept their number in my phone, just in case. I called, made an appointment (got in right away), and discovered that their office was just down the street from my new school (Thank You, Jesus!). My doc was well versed with my condition and made sure I had the meds I needed right away (Thank You, Jesus!). (After we lost our third baby, I was diagnosed with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome - APS. This causes tiny blood clots to form making it difficult for the placenta to attach and for blood to get to the baby. I take blood thinner shots daily, and am on aspirin and Vitamin E therapy as well). My teaching schedule is set up so I can leave at the end of the day and make my appointments without having to take time off work (Thank You,  Jesus!). Then four of my colleagues discovered they were pregnant too! Don't drink the water at my school ladies!!

So, how am I going to celebrate this milestone birthday? Well, I woke up at 1 am with leg cramps. Point-flex-point-flex, for 20 minutes. Then the other leg started...got my workout in early. This afternoon I was able to finally get my compression hose to help with my varicose veins (ick, I know). (Did you know that there were "in-network" and"out-of-network" medical supply stores? Let's just say I discovered that the hard way. Nothing says fun and excitement like turning your pregnant self into a contortionist while being measured for expensive leg wear!) Sloane stayed home from school, so we played, read, and ran errands while she questioned my about why I am not having a birthday cake (we are having a family celebration this weekend, but four year olds don't always get that).

Sure, I have seen the mugs and t-shirts that read, "I would rather be 40 than pregnant!" But I am honestly thrilled to be right where I am. Life is full of twists and turns. This may not have been on my master plan - but it was on God's. He knows what He is doing. This pregnancy has brought me so much closer to God and has enriched my relationship with Him in so many wonderful ways. I praise Him, cling to Him, and talk with Him all day long.

I wish you all a wonderful day! May you have sunny skies, no snow, and warm breezes! I am going to go put my feet up and have a big glass of water - while pretending it is a big glass of something else! 

Tithing - Gasp! Yes, I am going to talk about God and money.

This topic has been on my heart for a long, long time. I have time to sit and write (a rare treat), so here goes.

People don't like to talk about money. They especially don't like to hear how they should spent it. As Christians, we are told to give 10% of our income back to God (Deut. 14:22). This helps us focus on God, the blessings he has given us, and places Him as the top priority in our lives.

I know what some of you are thinking. Does "Heck no, that is my money and I need it!" sound familiar? How about, "If I give THAT much money, I won't be able to afford xxxx and yyyy." Not you yet? Try, "I give  $20 every week, that is more than enough. You see the cars in the parking lot? The bags those women carry? Let them give 10%." Let me tell you, I have used each of those excuses. Every one, and probably a few more. But, something happened in my life, twice actually, to change my attitude on tithing and giving.

Several years ago I quit going to church. Why? I was burned out. I spent too much time focusing on what I was doing rather than who I was doing it for, and I gave up. This led to a series of bad decisions (which God used to help make me who I am today) and before long, I realized I really, really needed God back in my life. Enter my amazing friend Angie and her husband Dan. They invited to church with them, fed me, prayed with me, and got me through a very difficult chapter in my life. During this time, I was going through a divorce, living on my own, paycheck to paycheck. I knew I needed to tithe because the Bible asks us to do so, but I was afraid that bills would be late or go unpaid. Dan and Angie led me (and a group of others) through a financial course (Crown Ministries), and showed me that God was going to take care of me. All I had to do was trust Him. They held my hand (and so did my parents) through this time and I can tell you that I never missed a meal or made a late payment. At times, I felt like the widow and her two mites; but I knew God would bless that tithe (Luke 21:1-2). God is faithful. Once I was back on my feet, I was so glad to be able to not only tithe but give extra as well. In 2 Corinthians 9: 6-15, Paul tells us that when we give generously, God rewards us generously. He loves a cheerful giver and he will give you all you need (7,8). Notice it says need, not want. Big difference.

A few years later, 2010, to be exact, my family hit a financial crisis. I was a stay-at-home mom to a new born Sloane. Matt and I were trying to make a go at a family run business. We lost the business and since we financed it ourselves, had to make some very difficult choices. We put our house on the market. We sold our things at garage sales and moved in with Matt's parents while he continued to look for work. We knew what we were commanded to do and continued to tithe. I am not going to lie - it was hard. Having been through it once, I knew God would be faithful, but while you are in the middle of that storm, it is tough to see where the He is going to take you. God is good and Matt found another job. We were able to move, to a beautiful area, and get back onto our feet. Once again, God saw us through it all.

2 Corinthians 8 and 9 encourages us to be generous givers. Your heart changes when you give back to the Lord, because you want to thank Him for the blessings he has given you. In chapter 8, verse 12, Paul goes on to tell us that God knows our willingness and ability. God is not going to ask of you what you cannot give. If you think about it, 10% of your income is not some outlandish amount. Chances are, you probably sock that much away in a retirement account and never even miss it. Think about how much God can do with just 10%.  I guarantee your church and the community it serves have needs. Are you willing to trust God? Can you give more than 10%? See what happens if you give above and beyond. No, the pastor isn't going to call you up to the pulpit and thank you. The children's minister isn't going to have all the kids give you hugs. But you will see a subtle change - in your own heart. You will start to see needs being met - be faithful to God and He will be faithful to you.

We are currently studying Romans 12 and the concept of generosity at church. I encourage you to read this chapter and see how it applies to your life and your own generosity. Be willing to give 10%, then more. But don't stop when the holidays are over, see how God is faithful to you and how he can use you.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and Hanukkah!

  

#26 Acts

Hello again! Yes, it has been a really, really long time since I posted. Since my last blog (we won't say how long it has been), I have been busy teaching, hanging with my family, and helping at church. Sloane is almost four and loves all things sports related (didn't get that from me). Matt is still employed with a health care company, specializing in software used on the business side of hospitals. Last year, I found a teaching job in late July at a local charter school. I had the opportunity to work with amazing teachers and fabulous kids. We discovered that the charter school system and I were not a good fit (long back story which would take about 12 blogs to cover), so around February I started to look for a job in the public school system. Texas is rumored to be the hardest state to get a teaching license (if you are from out-of-state), I can tell you that is true. It is also very, very difficult to get into the public school system unless you know someone already working in a district. I applied in about 25 districts for close to 75 jobs. Two job fairs, five interviews, and a very long summer later, I was hired to teach junior high English - the day before school started. Our administration shared that they had over 9,000 applicants and only invited the top 425 to their job fair (for you non-math people, that is less than 5%). I must say that I have to credit God and God alone for this job. Several people were praying for me in the process and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I felt your prayers and appreciated every one!

Last year, on December 14, 26 precious people lost their lives in a tragedy in New Town, CT at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I sat at my desk after the kids had gone home, and wept for the families and first responders. A few of my colleagues and I prayed together, unable to comprehend this monumental loss. Sandy Hook happened on a Friday. That weekend, Matt and Sloane packed up and headed to K.C. to be with family for Christmas; I was flying up a few days later. While I was packing, I had the tv on and the program I was watching told of Ann Curry's tweet challenge (now known as #26 Acts). She encouraged everyone to do 26 acts of kindness to remember and honor the lives lost. People were buying 26 cups of coffee and cocoa for strangers, donating 26 blankets, paying the toll for the next 26 cars, etc. As I watched, I thought, "I may not have enough money to buy 26 cups of Starbucks, but I can do 26 random acts of kindness."  So my journey began.

I found it to be rather easy, I gave cookies to my cab driver (in addition to his tip), I gave the flight attendants candy, helped strangers with directions, helped my neighbor with her trash, helped another neighbor whose food stamps had run out, picked up after other people's dogs, etc. When I reached 26, I realized that this would also be a great project for my eighth graders. When we got back from Christmas break, I explained the history of #26 Acts, what I did, and encouraged them to try and do it. I gave them a month and told them I would check back in to see what they had done.

Admittedly, I was skeptical; 13 and 14 year olds can have a tough time thinking outside of their insular boxes. My students blew me away. They gave food and money to the homeless, helped their siblings with projects, cooked for their parents, helped their friends and classmates, and volunteered to help the younger kids at school. We made a bulletin board outside my room to showcase what they had done. Our administration was so impressed with the project, they made it a school-wide project. They then covered our glass entry way with hand-drawn pictures of what the kids did. Again, amazing.

So this year, I challenged my students again. But I teach Pre-Advanced Placement students, so I upped the ante on them(so I gave them seven weeks to complete the project). They had to create a one minute presentation explaining to their classmates what they did and what they learned. In addition to the presentation, they also had to write a paper telling me how this project has impacted them. Once again, never, ever underestimate youth. My students helped feed, clothe, and warm the homeless, they volunteered at church, helped their parents, led scout trips, brought cookies to teachers, wrote thank you notes to teachers and adults who help them, helped disabled classmates, babysat for free, and on and on the list goes. I had to fight back tears as I read their papers. Most of them told me that they were inspired to continue the project on their own, because this is how we should act all the time, not just because it was an assignment.

As we approach the one year anniversary of Sandy Hook, we will also celebrate Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and Christmas. I would like to challenge you to do #26 Acts. It doesn't have to cost you a dime. Open a door, give a compliment, let that other driver merge, share your chocolate, say a kind word, clean up the mess you didn't make, the list goes on and on. Having done this challenge twice, I can tell you it will change your outlook on life, people, and whatever circumstances you have going on in your life. Do it. I double dog dare you!

Making friends - aka Slobber Happens

Someone, somewhere once wrote, "The loneliest women you will find are stay-at-home-moms."  For the most part, I would whole-heartedly disagree with this statement. But, as we all know there are exceptions. For some reason, the past few months have been difficult for me (read lonely); it could be our move to a place where we know no one; it could be the fact that I am shy and reluctant to go up to people I don't know and strike up a conversation; it could be the inner seventh grader stuck in my mind telling me I am a big dork. So, here is my tale of how I am making friends in a new city...

We live in an apartment - our complex does not have a playground, but we do have two pools. We moved here at the end of February, when it was still chilly and most people hung out indoors. I tried to join a MOPS group, but was informed that they were "full" and I should try again in August. Ouch.  I met one other mom living near us, but she would never talk to me. I made it a point to say,"Hi" "How are you?" "Have a good day" etc. whenever I saw her, I would be lucky to get a wave or "Hi" in return.  It wasn't until I told her about a break-in in a nearby unit that she actually spoke to me and told me her name.

I have tried making friends at the park. That is like going back to junior high dressed in the wrong thing - literally. Since moving here, I have had five, yes, five actual conversations with moms at the park.  When I attempt to talk to other moms, I have been given a "look over", then either an eyebrow raise or an eye roll, a perfunctory "Hi" and then I am usually ignored.  No, I do not carry a Coach diaper bag, wear Tory Burch flats, or J Brand jeans to the park (FYI - this is the North Dallas standard uniform - at the park). The moms who have talked to me are older, dressed to play, and seem glad be out and about with their kiddos too.

What has been my sanity saver? The Dog Park. We go to the Dog Park daily, usually in the morning.  Sloane loves to play and run, Nozzo smells and runs, I actually get to meet people!  On my second trip, I realized that the dog owners at the dog parks are like my friends -laid back and ready to play. When you go to the dog park, you can expect to get dirty - thus no one cares that you are in gym clothes or if your clothes are "grubbies". No one notices if you are wearing make-up or not. In a lot of ways, it is like hanging out with a group of moms with newborns. Slobber happens. At the park, we have made some wonderful friends - both two and four legged.

Because we go at about the same time each day, we get to see some of the same people and their dogs. Sloane asks to go to the Dog Park over the kids park. She is off-the-charts excited when we drive in the parking lot. When we get there, if some of the regulars are there, she takes off running to open the gates to go play. Yes, she knows that Nozzo says"hi" to the other dogs first and that she needs to let new dogs smell her hands before she can pet them.

I love going  for many reasons, but mainly, there is a huge sense of community - and not just because we are all "dog people." If I am there with a group of women and a strange man comes in, we all stay (or leave) together. We share job search info (glad to know I am not the only out-of- work person), restaurants to try (or avoid), fill each other in about new parks and if they are worth our time. And yes, we gossip about each other.   Sloane loves playing , sharing her snacks, and getting kisses  from all the "puppies." The other dog parents know when Sloane is reaching her "breaking point" and when she needs a time out. They are also helpful in making sure she stays in time-out when we are there.

We have met people who have rescued their dogs , pure-breds, grand-dogs, crazy mixed breeds, and even one of Michael Vick's dogs (sweetheart!!!).  If we get there and no one is there - I admit I do get a little bummed, but we wait about 15 minutes and someone else shows up.  It is not uncommon for me to look down at my watch and realize we have been there for two hours. 

Now that summer (and pool weather) is upon us, we are slowly starting to meet other moms who live nearby.  I am in a Bible Study at Church and am meeting other women with similar interests. I hope that soon, Sloane will be able to have some play-dates with neighbors/church friends. In the mean time, we love our Dog Park buddies (both human and canine).

On the hunt...

On the hunt…

Matt and I are church hunting again. We have done this a few times as we have moved a few times (ok, we have moved several times, six times in three years to be exact). Thankfully, we haven’t had to find a new church each time, but when you move to a new state, it is time to find a new church home. To add fun and excitement to the hunt, you need to know that Matt is a little more conservative than I, so things he will not compromise on, I might find superfluous, and the vice versa  is true as well. We both believe in the same the path to salvation, baptism by immersion, taking communion at least once a month, and tithing.

We have gone to small churches and mega churches, some packed to the gills others nearly empty.  We’ve heard sermons on all sorts of topics by preachers from all sorts of seminaries.  We’ve heard music ranging from centuries old hymns to Pink Floyd (yes, Floyd at church). We’ve gone to services that are home-spun as well as those mimic concerts with dramatic performances.   What kinds of weird things have we experienced? One pastor swore during his sermon (I think it was an accident); one pastor liked to quote scripture, but only parts of verses, to tailor make his sermon; one pastor used a live snake and mouse to give an analogy of God’s hands protecting us from the evil of the world (Matt had to keep his eyes closed for part of that sermon); we’ve had little old ladies send us “dagger eyes” when Sloane would giggle in church; for the most part, our first time visits have gone well, but  we never know what to expect.

In our journey to find a new church, we are following the same path we have taken in the past. Church hunting is very similar to house hunting.  You look up places that you’ve driven by as well as an internet search of churches in your area.  Using the sites, you can quickly eliminate anywhere that you know you won’t like or doesn’t suit your needs. Matt and I look at the “what we believe” section first (almost every church has this section) as this helps us weed out places we know we will not like. Then, it is usually onto the “about us” where you can find out key things like denomination (or not), dress code, kid-friendliness, service times, and anything else they may deem critical for visitors and members to know.

We both make sure to check out the Children’s Ministry section to see what they offer. Usually, it outlines their nursery policy and explains what programs they offer to kids of all ages. Some even let you download the forms you will need to fill out, so you won’t have to wait in line when you get there, always a plus!

Now that we have done this a few times, I have learned the following: nursery workers are volunteers (read they will be late), if they are, it gives you time to look around to see how clean they keep the place; it is someone’s job to greet visitors, they want to make sure you feel welcomed and have any questions answered, so if you have them, be sure to ask them; regular attendees will come up to say hi, don’t be shy, let them know you are new and that you are church hunting;  some people are hand-shakers, others are huggers, if you are offered a hug take it!; most churches now offer a continental breakfast, which you can eat during the service (I think this is kinda weird, but maybe I am old fashioned), some charge for it, some don’t, but if you are running late, it is a nice thing to offer!

If you have a church home, I would highly recommend   checking out your church’s website, facebook, and twitter accounts. See how up-to-date they are, and if they are really old, help to get them current. Do you have any interaction with visitors? All you have to do is say hi and shake hands – trust me it goes far!

If you are searching or thinking about going to church, I urge you to visit a church you have driven by, read about, or have been invited to by a friend. Don’t feel pressure to join, but give it a try, you may walk away with a silly story (swearing! snakes! mean old ladies!) or you may find a place to call home.

Product Placement

My New Normal – Product Placement

We have been very fortunate, Sloane doesn’t really notice commercials, labels, or signage. Don’t get me wrong, if we drive by a Coke truck, she can tell you it is a “Big Soda Truck!” But, other than that, she is very happy in her world of toys, Mama and Daddy and Nozzo, and her favorite shows. If you mention McDonalds or Chuck E. Cheese, she will do a happy dance and ask to go, but we rarely get fits of begging to go somewhere or eat at a fast food place.   Matt learned that Sesame Street Live would be coming to our new home town, so he got tickets. I am not sure who was more excited about the show, Matt or Sloane.

We found out that we could get to the show an hour early and play on some set pieces and maybe meet up with a few of the characters. We got there 20 minutes before the door opened and guess what we found out? There is a velvet rope – for toddlers. If you are willing to shell out $65 per ticket, you can come even earlier for a meet and greet with all the characters, play on the set pieces (while the rest of us look on – behind the ropes), and have professional pictures taken with Elmo, Rosita, and Cookie Monster.  Those of us who were not willing to pay the extra cash looked on at the photo op going on and guess what? Sloane was perfectly content to hang out with us and wave at Elmo and Cookie as they walked by.

Once the flood gates opened, we played on Elmo’s piano, Big Bird’s nest, the famous 123 door stop, Oscar’s garbage can, and watched a few dance pieces the cast performed before the show.  They also had several booths set up to buy t-shirts, candy, toys, pennants, hats, and re-useable bags. Sloane didn’t really even notice them, she was too busy watching the character’s dance or was people watching. We did let her pick out an Elmo shirt, she didn’t ask for anything else, and we were happy!

As we walked to our seats, the concessioners slowly started to come in, selling cotton candy – for $5 a pop. Sloane saw other kids eating it and wanted to know what it was – we told her – when she asked for it we told her, “no, but you can have a sucker.” (I always have emergency suckers and fruit snacks). She was more than happy to unwrap and chew on a sucker.  The show started and she was entranced for the full 40 minutes. Then came intermission…

No sooner had intermission started did a man walk down to the center of the theater and stand about three rows in front of us with a gigantic collection of Elmo balloons – for $5 each. Parents and Grandparents lined up and bought almost all of them – Matt and I were not shocked, but $5 for a mylar balloon? Come on people! Sloane asked for one, we took a picture of the big bunch and told her that she could look at the picture whenever she wanted. That made her happy and she had another sucker. Just before the break was over, they made an announcement that those who had bought balloons of pennants should put them under their seats until the show was over. “Yeah right – good luck with that!” a few of us muttered. And the fun began again.

She made it through most of the show and yes, a few balloons popped up, but for the most part, they stayed put.  She had a great day and her new shirt has already had some bonding time with Tide Stain Release.  What did we learn from out trip to Sesame Street Live? Our kid is very happy with what she has and prefers to hang out with us. This makes my heart sing! I know that the requests for McDonalds is soon approaching, but for now, I am going to relish the contented little girl I have (and remember this time when the begging and pleading begins!).

Angels - God's Super Heros

Angels – God’s Super Heros

We were playing Christmas Bingo in class this week. The kids have Bingo “cards” that have various holiday items on them ranging from stockings to Mary holding baby Jesus. I have found that it is hard to teach all the vocabulary involved with holidays without pictures and games. (There is a great website that lets you create bingo cards for many holidays, animal groups, letters, shapes, colors, etc.) I should also tell you that this group of students LOVES to play bingo. By  LOVE I mean they beg me, daily, to play. Could be the candy they get if they win, could be the fun of competing against each other. I am not sure which, but they love, love, love it.

Sometimes I call out the items on the card, sometimes they do. We were playing a round on Wednesday when one of my students was the “caller.” He called out “super hero.” Then he pointed at the angel (in a flying pose, blowing a trumpet). His classmates corrected him, we all giggled and moved on to the next item. But I was left thinking, aren’t angels really like God’s super heros?

Think about it. Super heros swoop in when people are in dire need then leave without a trace. Explaining how they helped makes you look like an idiot or a crazy person – either way, most people won’t believe you. They ask for nothing in return for their help. They don’t say a whole lot, but when they do talk – you better listen – very carefully.  Angels are there when people needed help (think Daniel in the lion’s den; Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendigo), they bring good news (Elizabeth; Mary; the angels at Jesus’ birth and at his tomb), and they watch over our children. The Bible clearly warns us against worshipping them, but it does let us know that they do look upon God’s face and help carry out his will here on Earth.

This time of year we see angels just about everywhere. What do you think of when you see an angel? Peace? Love? Comfort? Joy?  Right now I am thinking about Gabriel and how he told Mary about her coming baby. How scared would she have been? Only God’s super hero would be able to tell an unwed teenager that her coming baby would be the savior of the world and that she was going to be ok. Then tell her boyfriend what to do (and have him follow it to the letter). How cool is that job?

God has plenty of Super heros in the Bible – Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, Joshua, Solomon, all of disciples, Paul, and of course Jesus.  But the angels, they have a very special place in Heaven and on Earth.  We see plenty of images of angels this time of year – they come in all shapes and sizes.  We see them in cards, on windows, even air-puffed on front lawns. I am very grateful for the real-life angels (super heros) watching over us, protecting us, and occasionally visiting us from time to time.

Merry almost Christmas to you all!