On the hunt...

On the hunt…

Matt and I are church hunting again. We have done this a few times as we have moved a few times (ok, we have moved several times, six times in three years to be exact). Thankfully, we haven’t had to find a new church each time, but when you move to a new state, it is time to find a new church home. To add fun and excitement to the hunt, you need to know that Matt is a little more conservative than I, so things he will not compromise on, I might find superfluous, and the vice versa  is true as well. We both believe in the same the path to salvation, baptism by immersion, taking communion at least once a month, and tithing.

We have gone to small churches and mega churches, some packed to the gills others nearly empty.  We’ve heard sermons on all sorts of topics by preachers from all sorts of seminaries.  We’ve heard music ranging from centuries old hymns to Pink Floyd (yes, Floyd at church). We’ve gone to services that are home-spun as well as those mimic concerts with dramatic performances.   What kinds of weird things have we experienced? One pastor swore during his sermon (I think it was an accident); one pastor liked to quote scripture, but only parts of verses, to tailor make his sermon; one pastor used a live snake and mouse to give an analogy of God’s hands protecting us from the evil of the world (Matt had to keep his eyes closed for part of that sermon); we’ve had little old ladies send us “dagger eyes” when Sloane would giggle in church; for the most part, our first time visits have gone well, but  we never know what to expect.

In our journey to find a new church, we are following the same path we have taken in the past. Church hunting is very similar to house hunting.  You look up places that you’ve driven by as well as an internet search of churches in your area.  Using the sites, you can quickly eliminate anywhere that you know you won’t like or doesn’t suit your needs. Matt and I look at the “what we believe” section first (almost every church has this section) as this helps us weed out places we know we will not like. Then, it is usually onto the “about us” where you can find out key things like denomination (or not), dress code, kid-friendliness, service times, and anything else they may deem critical for visitors and members to know.

We both make sure to check out the Children’s Ministry section to see what they offer. Usually, it outlines their nursery policy and explains what programs they offer to kids of all ages. Some even let you download the forms you will need to fill out, so you won’t have to wait in line when you get there, always a plus!

Now that we have done this a few times, I have learned the following: nursery workers are volunteers (read they will be late), if they are, it gives you time to look around to see how clean they keep the place; it is someone’s job to greet visitors, they want to make sure you feel welcomed and have any questions answered, so if you have them, be sure to ask them; regular attendees will come up to say hi, don’t be shy, let them know you are new and that you are church hunting;  some people are hand-shakers, others are huggers, if you are offered a hug take it!; most churches now offer a continental breakfast, which you can eat during the service (I think this is kinda weird, but maybe I am old fashioned), some charge for it, some don’t, but if you are running late, it is a nice thing to offer!

If you have a church home, I would highly recommend   checking out your church’s website, facebook, and twitter accounts. See how up-to-date they are, and if they are really old, help to get them current. Do you have any interaction with visitors? All you have to do is say hi and shake hands – trust me it goes far!

If you are searching or thinking about going to church, I urge you to visit a church you have driven by, read about, or have been invited to by a friend. Don’t feel pressure to join, but give it a try, you may walk away with a silly story (swearing! snakes! mean old ladies!) or you may find a place to call home.

Product Placement

My New Normal – Product Placement

We have been very fortunate, Sloane doesn’t really notice commercials, labels, or signage. Don’t get me wrong, if we drive by a Coke truck, she can tell you it is a “Big Soda Truck!” But, other than that, she is very happy in her world of toys, Mama and Daddy and Nozzo, and her favorite shows. If you mention McDonalds or Chuck E. Cheese, she will do a happy dance and ask to go, but we rarely get fits of begging to go somewhere or eat at a fast food place.   Matt learned that Sesame Street Live would be coming to our new home town, so he got tickets. I am not sure who was more excited about the show, Matt or Sloane.

We found out that we could get to the show an hour early and play on some set pieces and maybe meet up with a few of the characters. We got there 20 minutes before the door opened and guess what we found out? There is a velvet rope – for toddlers. If you are willing to shell out $65 per ticket, you can come even earlier for a meet and greet with all the characters, play on the set pieces (while the rest of us look on – behind the ropes), and have professional pictures taken with Elmo, Rosita, and Cookie Monster.  Those of us who were not willing to pay the extra cash looked on at the photo op going on and guess what? Sloane was perfectly content to hang out with us and wave at Elmo and Cookie as they walked by.

Once the flood gates opened, we played on Elmo’s piano, Big Bird’s nest, the famous 123 door stop, Oscar’s garbage can, and watched a few dance pieces the cast performed before the show.  They also had several booths set up to buy t-shirts, candy, toys, pennants, hats, and re-useable bags. Sloane didn’t really even notice them, she was too busy watching the character’s dance or was people watching. We did let her pick out an Elmo shirt, she didn’t ask for anything else, and we were happy!

As we walked to our seats, the concessioners slowly started to come in, selling cotton candy – for $5 a pop. Sloane saw other kids eating it and wanted to know what it was – we told her – when she asked for it we told her, “no, but you can have a sucker.” (I always have emergency suckers and fruit snacks). She was more than happy to unwrap and chew on a sucker.  The show started and she was entranced for the full 40 minutes. Then came intermission…

No sooner had intermission started did a man walk down to the center of the theater and stand about three rows in front of us with a gigantic collection of Elmo balloons – for $5 each. Parents and Grandparents lined up and bought almost all of them – Matt and I were not shocked, but $5 for a mylar balloon? Come on people! Sloane asked for one, we took a picture of the big bunch and told her that she could look at the picture whenever she wanted. That made her happy and she had another sucker. Just before the break was over, they made an announcement that those who had bought balloons of pennants should put them under their seats until the show was over. “Yeah right – good luck with that!” a few of us muttered. And the fun began again.

She made it through most of the show and yes, a few balloons popped up, but for the most part, they stayed put.  She had a great day and her new shirt has already had some bonding time with Tide Stain Release.  What did we learn from out trip to Sesame Street Live? Our kid is very happy with what she has and prefers to hang out with us. This makes my heart sing! I know that the requests for McDonalds is soon approaching, but for now, I am going to relish the contented little girl I have (and remember this time when the begging and pleading begins!).

Angels - God's Super Heros

Angels – God’s Super Heros

We were playing Christmas Bingo in class this week. The kids have Bingo “cards” that have various holiday items on them ranging from stockings to Mary holding baby Jesus. I have found that it is hard to teach all the vocabulary involved with holidays without pictures and games. (There is a great website that lets you create bingo cards for many holidays, animal groups, letters, shapes, colors, etc.) I should also tell you that this group of students LOVES to play bingo. By  LOVE I mean they beg me, daily, to play. Could be the candy they get if they win, could be the fun of competing against each other. I am not sure which, but they love, love, love it.

Sometimes I call out the items on the card, sometimes they do. We were playing a round on Wednesday when one of my students was the “caller.” He called out “super hero.” Then he pointed at the angel (in a flying pose, blowing a trumpet). His classmates corrected him, we all giggled and moved on to the next item. But I was left thinking, aren’t angels really like God’s super heros?

Think about it. Super heros swoop in when people are in dire need then leave without a trace. Explaining how they helped makes you look like an idiot or a crazy person – either way, most people won’t believe you. They ask for nothing in return for their help. They don’t say a whole lot, but when they do talk – you better listen – very carefully.  Angels are there when people needed help (think Daniel in the lion’s den; Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendigo), they bring good news (Elizabeth; Mary; the angels at Jesus’ birth and at his tomb), and they watch over our children. The Bible clearly warns us against worshipping them, but it does let us know that they do look upon God’s face and help carry out his will here on Earth.

This time of year we see angels just about everywhere. What do you think of when you see an angel? Peace? Love? Comfort? Joy?  Right now I am thinking about Gabriel and how he told Mary about her coming baby. How scared would she have been? Only God’s super hero would be able to tell an unwed teenager that her coming baby would be the savior of the world and that she was going to be ok. Then tell her boyfriend what to do (and have him follow it to the letter). How cool is that job?

God has plenty of Super heros in the Bible – Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, Joshua, Solomon, all of disciples, Paul, and of course Jesus.  But the angels, they have a very special place in Heaven and on Earth.  We see plenty of images of angels this time of year – they come in all shapes and sizes.  We see them in cards, on windows, even air-puffed on front lawns. I am very grateful for the real-life angels (super heros) watching over us, protecting us, and occasionally visiting us from time to time.

Merry almost Christmas to you all!

#8 Christ in the Classroom

My New Normal #8  Christ in the classroom

I am about to begin week six of my long term sub job. It has not been easy, but I am having a blast. One of the tough parts of teaching “Newcomer” ELL is that there are no real curriculum guides to follow. So I know that I need to work on reading, writing, speaking, culture, and math; but I pretty much have free reign as to what I want to do and how I want to teach it.  Thankfully, the teacher I am subbing for left me some ideas and books to use, but she told me I can pretty much do what ever I want, I just need to test them every 10 days so we can mark their progress.

For those of you who are not familiar with my teaching style, let me fill you in. I am a planner, big time. It was not unusual for me to have the entire school year mapped out by the end of August. If something needed to be changed or supplemented, it was no big deal because I knew where I was and where I was going.  This assignment really had me thrown for a loop, because I had about a week’s worth of plans to start with, then I was on my own. 

The Language Arts  (Communication Arts is what they call it here) section was no problem, we had books to use and workbooks to follow up with. Math – um, hello – I had more resources than I knew what to do with. I didn’t have to teach science – thankfully. This left social studies and another Comm. Arts, but both are for kids who are really new to English and living in the USA, so the Comm. Arts is really more like American Culture class.  When I got there, we were working on the different regions of the USA and clothing. This moved into Native Americans and going to the doctor. You might think that these are pretty general things to be teaching, but try teaching a kid (who can barely read and write in their own language) how to say “I have a sore throat.” or “Iroquois’ lived in longhouses.”  Before I knew it, it was Thanksgiving.  We learned about the Pilgrims and why they came here, later in the day, we talked about what families do on/for Thanksgiving. It is not easy to not talk about Christianity when you are talking about Pilgrims – so I didn’t dance around it – I just told it like it was. Thankfully, the Discovery Channel has multiple movies which explain why the Pilgrims came. My students had lots of questions, like “Why couldn’t they pray the way they wanted?” “Why was the king so bad?” “How come they move here instead of staying in Holland?” etc. We had some good discussions – then it was onto the Spanish Explorers  - wouldn’t you know it, religion comes back into the class discussion again. Who are missionaries? What do they do? Why do they leave home to teach people about God?

We just started talking about Christmas. I wasn’t too sure how I was going to teach it, as you are not supposed to favor a religion or get too “preachy” when teaching about holidays. So, I planned units on Hanukkah and Kwanzaa as well. Hanukkah is all about religion, there is not a whole lot of “gotta have for this year.”  Kwanzaa is about family and thankfulness (not about a $79 Kindle or $199 iPhone). For me, teaching about Christmas and leaving out Christ is like teaching about Thanksgiving and leaving out thankfulness. I did a lot of praying as to how I was to teach this without getting into trouble. Last week, we learned about the history of Santa Claus. Some of the kids knew who he was, some had no clue. One kid was really worried that some strange man was going to come into his house and leave stuff without anyone knowing who it was. We discussed who Santa was in each of their cultures (six different countries in all). Then we read about the history of Santa in the USA. Wouldn’t you know it, Christ pops up, thanks in part to Pope Julius I; a Turkish Priest who helped out sailors, kids, and unwed young ladies; and the Dutch pilgrims. The Scandinavian pilgrims came next and before I knew it, Christ was all over the lesson and I didn’t have to say a word. Yay God!

We are in the midst of breaking down Christmas carols and Hanukkah songs. I am trying to keep it “jolly” and Christ is still there – in the lyrics. Every really listen to “Here Comes Santa Claus?” “…Santa knows we’re all God’s children…” Hanukkah songs don’t mess around – you are singing praises to God who kept the lamp burning for 7 days, 8 nights.

We are going to play Christmas Bingo this week using familiar images of Christmas. I am going to have to explain why we use the Evergreen tree for Christmas trees (symbol of eternal life), the dove (peace/love), the nativity scene, wreaths (eternal life, unending circle of love), carolers (those spreading the joy of Christmas through song), and why we give gifts in the first place (pagan festivals + three wise men).

Please say a prayer for my students. Most are Christian or Catholic, but I do have some Muslims and Buddhists. For several, this is their first holiday season in the US, and they are overwhelmed with the marketing, to say the least. What I teach them may well be their first introduction to Christianity and how it is worshipped/celebrated here. I want them to go on their break knowing the real reason for the season – not just the hyped up ads and cheesy symbols. Let me know how I can pray for you at your workplace, and hopefully, we can keep Christ in Christmas!

Extending Grace

My New  Normal #7

Extending Grace

This week I was reminded – humbly reminded – that sometimes we all need to extend grace to those around us.

One of my students suffers from a few learning disorders and we are still in the process of trying to diagnose all of them. We were in the middle of a vocabulary lesson and I had asked him to write five original sentences from a list. He could not copy the words and write the sentences, try as he might, he just couldn’t do it. I found myself repeating the instructions to him, over and over, and I finally realized, “Kim, he isn’t refusing to do it, he simply cannot do it. You need to help him and change your expectations, or else you both are going to have a melt-down.” Once I changed the assignment and helped him, he got the work done and everyone was happy.

Later that day, I had to get some blood work done. I went to the “drawing station” (their name for it, not mine) close to my house. I have been there several times and am friendly with the staff. When I got there, it was a new shift and I did not know the women working behind the counter. The station is usually run with military-style precision and I am never there more than 20 minutes. After waiting 15 minutes, they called the woman sitting next to me, and I knew I would be there longer than anticipated. Once I was finally called, I realized why they were so behind. There were only two women working and for one of the women, it was her first day on the job (not as a phlebotomist – just at this office) and she was learning the computer system, filing system, and labeling system – all at once. After we were done at the check-in counter, they realized my billing information was wrong and it needed to be updated. I was getting antsy and angry (I needed to pick up Sloane from daycare),  the “usual” staff had changed it three weeks ago, why can’t they find the new info?  After a few deep breaths, I remembered that just two weeks ago, it was my first day on a job, with a whole new way of doing things. An attitude check was needed, quickly!

Humbled, I stood at the counter as the tech re-entered my information and made more copies of my insurance card. I thought of my students, who had to get used to me learning how “they do things” in class and learning how to follow three class schedules all at once.  No one complained that I hadn’t graded their papers as fast or that I was late in giving their usual assessments. They had been very patient with me and I needed to show that same patience to the tech.

All in all, I was there for almost an hour; I picked up Sloane and learned I had just missed a fire drill, so it didn’t matter that I was running late.  She was having fun outside anyway.

As we get closer to the frenzy of Thanksgiving and Christmas, I am hoping that I remember these lessons as I shop, teach, drive, and work with others.  I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving, filled with love, peace, and grace!

Why are you laughing?

My New Normal  #5

Why are you laughing?

When my grandmother died in 2000, we had to have two funerals for her. She lived nine months out of the year in Arizona and three months out of the year in New Jersey, splitting her time between her two daughters and her grandchildren. She had many friends in each state and there was no way just one service would suffice.  After we arrived in New Jersey, for the second service, my mom turned to me and told me, “We really need to find something funny about all of this, or else we are all going to have a meltdown.” Trying to find humor in the midst of a funeral (for your grandmother no less) was almost impossible. Then the funeral director invited us into the viewing room to see her  before the other guests arrived. (You need to know that Grandma had naturally wavy hair, when she arrived in NJ each summer, her hair curled into tight, poufy curls. Usually, just as the plane touched down, her hair curled right up.)  When we were escorted into the room, we all started laughing. Why? Turns out you can have bad hair days, even when you are dead, because Grandma had a post-mortem afro.

From this experience, I learned that in life’s really awful experiences, it is wise to try to find some humor in them – otherwise, it is very easy to look like you are the lead anchor in the nightly “Gloom and Doom Report.”

For example, when the court clerk confirmed that my divorce was in fact final, I spontaneously said, “I LOVE YOU!!” to her; then we both started laughing, thus sealing the end of a painful part of my life with a big smile.

When I got remarried and moved to the Midwest from Scottsdale, I was excited to live in a climate that had all four seasons; instead of “hot and not hot.” No one thought to tell me about the tornado drills though. So, one rainy July afternoon, the sirens started blazing and I cowered in my basement with my dog, frantically calling my husband – who was in Detroit – asking him what I should do. He told me to check the TV news – which told me that it might rain that afternoon. About an hour later he called me back and calmly told me about monthly drills – after a few seconds, we both started laughing (but I still jump when those sirens go off).  I think this story has become canonized amongst McGuire family members.

When I wrote my birth plan, I was warned to keep it short and simple. Mine was, “Drugs please.” I was not disappointed.

Moving four times in two years, cross country, you learn that packing up your stuff and loading it into a moving truck is nothing more than a gigantic game of Tetris; and you don’t get to move up a level if you make it all fit the first time.

A few days ago, I had to put my “find the humor in this” theory into practice, with the help of my exceptional sister-in-law, Mindi.

I was a few weeks pregnant and I started spotting. After a panicky visit to the doctor, I was put on medication and told to “take it easy” for two weeks, until my next visit. About a week later, the spotting turned into heavy bleeding. I was working with my Mindi that day, I told her what was happening, and she drove me to the ultrasound clinic, where the worst was confirmed. She then took me to her house, fed me, and entertained me all evening. The next day, my doctor prescribed some medication that would “help the process along.” Because the medication had serious side effects, I was not allowed to be alone. Mindi  took a half day at work, bought me some “supplies” and kept me company until my husband could get home. Amongst the supplies she got me were Depends. At first, I thought, “Are you serious? It is not gonna be that bad!!” Then she looked at my face and said, “You know, sometimes there comes a time when you know it will be bad and you just don’t care any more.  These are here if you need them.” She left it at that.

A few hours later, I shuffled out of the bathroom, holding the dreaded disposable undies. I looked at her, we shared a knowing look, and we both started laughing – so hard that we started crying. Then I asked her, “Do you know if the red dot goes in the front or in the back? I assume it is the back.” The hysterics continued. 

The past few weeks have been tough, but my mind keeps coming back to that pastel package of grown up “pull-ups.” And that stupid red dot. If it wasn’t for them, Mindi, and a deep desire to find humor in a dreadful situation, I would most likely be a walking zombie.  While I am not looking forward to my next move, tornado season, or exciting “life experience,” I know that it is going to wind up as a good story, hopefully with a funny ending.

Mutterings of a Toddler Mama

My New Normal #6

Things I wish I knew…for moms of toddlers

Note: I am doing this as a list, similar to an assignment I had in a writing class last week.

Your child will develop a craving for some fruit or vegetable in its opposite season (and refuse to eat anything else), thus forcing you to pay an obscene amount of money for strawberries, oranges, tomatoes, apples, avocados, bananas, etc..

You can try to feed your child wholesome, healthy foods, but sooner or later, they will discover cake, chocolate, soda, and candy. Just embrace this and be thankful that you can tell them the goodies are “asleep right now” and they believe you.

There are three types of parents who take their kids to playgrounds: the “helicopter” parent who hovers over their child and makes sure no dirt (or harm) comes near their child; the parent who both plays with his/her child and lets them discover the playground on his/her own; and the parent who brings the child to the playground, plops down, brings out the smart phone/laptop/book and totally ignores their child until other parents point out that the kid is running away, bleeding, naked, or totally out of control. Eventually, this parent either gets shunned (by the other parents) or is involved in some sort of altercation with a “helicopter parent” and is rarely seen again.

On play dates and picnics, it does not matter what kind of food you bring, your bundle of joy will want whatever the other moms bring and will refuse to eat anything you have.

Daylight savings time means nothing to your child. They will wake up and go to sleep whenever they want.

You can never sing “Old McDonald, Itsy Bitsy Spider, the ABC song, or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” too many times.

The first time your kiddo says “I wuv you Mama!”  your heart will melt and you may cry. This is totally normal.

Your child will get sick at the worst moment possible, and most likely, it will be all over your favorite or most expensive outfit.

If you have a pet, your child will at some time eat the dog’s/cat’s/bird’s/etc. food.

Your child will be able to operate your phone better and faster than you. There is a good chance they will also “hide it” aka lose it a few times too.

“Date night” may transform from a movie and dinner out into grocery shopping with a stop at a drive thru. But don’t worry, you can still work your mojo in the frozen section.

Please and Thank you will eventually become part of your child’s vocabulary, and they will use them to melt your heart.

Someone in your child’s daycare will come down with a strange disease with symptoms like fever and diarrhea, and you will spend a week trying to analyze every diaper and checking temperatures.

 It is ok when your child has a total meltdown in church, at the grocery store, at Target, etc. Every kid does it sooner or later and if some mom gives you a condescending look, give her one right back.

Your child will become obsessed with a television show you find mind numbing and redundant. Said show will most likely be on during one of your favorite shows, in which case, you get to watch your DVR fill up faster than you knew possible.

No matter how hard/difficult/long your day was, a smile and hug from your munchkin will make it all melt away.

I’ll bet you can add a few words of wisdom here too. Be sure to pass them on to your friends, listen to theirs as well. But before you do, be sure to tell them about that booger petrified onto their shirt.